Truth.

Oh hey there, I wasn't in the mood to write a blog, but still, sometime struck on my mind so quickly that I don't know who to tell. Okay, so  here, there's a guy who once liked me. I am a person who can't make decision that fast, I'm always in a dilemma. I hate making decisions. I drag all the way to just run away from decision. And yesterday, he sent me a text, asking me stuff. He said I'm a liar. My heart went down as if i've lost my heartbeat when i saw that text message. And i didn't said he's the guy who'd had hurt me. I'M THE ONE WHO'D HAD HURT HIM LAST TIME. Weird isn't it? And he said I've lied to him again? To be honest, I don't really know whether I'm lying to him or not. To me it's just I didn't tell him stuff. Didn't tell and Lie is 2 different things. There's a difference between LIE AND DIDN'T TELL. You can't want me to just run over to some place, screaming at you and tell you everything. If you asked, I'll answer. And if i was about to lied to you, I wouldn't had gave so much explanation. If i was about to lie to you, my answer will just be a YES or a NO. I'll answer your question without thinking back then. You wanted that answer yes, I'm sorry i didn't gave it to you. If i was about to lie to you, I will just say yes yes yes. In the end, both of us still get hurt. You said I'm Selfish. Yes, I admit I am. I know what I'm doing right here. I know who treated me good and bad. I know who i've hurt last time. I remember it clear as crystal as if it just happened yesterday. You asked me to not talk to you anymore. Do you know how much it hurts? You were once a guy who is everything positive, and that is why i didn't give up on you. I use the time thinking about what to do, everything else. And if it was other people, i don't need a second to just say no. And sometimes I'm just afraid that it will just ruin our friendship like this. Anything is it, if that is what you want, you'll get it. I'll try to give everything back to you. I'm sorry that i didn't fulfill my promise towards you. I'm just so fucking sorry for everything i've did. I know i can't do anything else. I know you wouldn't be trusting what I've said. I've just ruined everything. Every single memory. EVERYTHING. I'm sorry, I shouldn't had started everything since the very first beginning. I'll go away from you. If you think that I'm a bitch, it's your choice. I got no rights to say anything else. Whatever it is, it's my most sincere apologize. Bye.

Sincerely,
Vanessa KMY.